The Dungeon (and other relics of bachelorhood)

C-Rock can't be bothered with any sort of dependency on creature comforts. Before we started dating, his unit had flooded and destroyed his mattress (which had been sitting on the concrete slab floor of his subterranean studio loft/ basement of a former John Deer factory). To prevent the inconvenience from reoccurring, he "built" himself what he believed to be a pretty sweet "platform bed" out of plywood and cinder blocks. This he adorned with an air-mattress. Said arrangement remained his sleeping configuration for more than a year.


The rest of his 600 square feet of glory were equally amazing. Two by eights connected with a piece of baseboard at each end propped on 2 plastic saw horses = world's longest (and crookedest) desk. That is, desk/ dining table/ storage unit. The CRT television, though housed in a decent wooden entertainment cabinet (ala Millie), was propped up on an empty ammunition box. In classic bachelor style, the unit boasted a pair of black pleather (eh hem, I mean DURAHIDE) sofas. The fact that the home did actually have a bit of wall decor might seem contradictory to the otherwise spartan aesthetic until you learn that the items hanging on the wall were: a pair of boxing gloves, a construction hat, one old-school shotgun, and various framed posters valiantly 'rescued' from the dumpster. 


The unit was conveniently located adjacent to the parking deck such that one wall running the entire length of the home was shared with the deck. Sometimes, neighbors would literally hit his house when parking. This was not nearly as loud as the hourly trains passing by on a track located no more than 30 feet from his solitary half window of security glass (sure to let no criminals, nor daylight in) that would rattle the building hard enough to register on any richter scale.


The following are examples of common household items that overtime, I discovered C-Rock did not own:

• a microwave
• staples/ paperclips/ pens/ paper of any kind
• a coffee-maker
• salt

Below, however, are examples of things he did find necessary:

• 12 foot ladder
• dehydrated piranha on wooden stand
• fm radio toilet paper dispenser 
• Miter saw

Click here to see images of the famous C-Rock dungeon. "This is a photo documentary of the things I found around C-Rocks's place that I got the strangest sense would get "lost in the move" to our place after the wedding..."